AManWalksIntoAnOffice: June 2006 Archives

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Jun30	Marriage Counselor Gets Advice from Kindergartners - Part 4 Bill Belew June 30, 2006 Know More: Ask the Experts 2.0, Ask the Experts A marriage counselor was running out of ways to advise his patients so he decided to ask some young kids for their advice on how he should respond to frequent questions. He asked - "WHAT is FALLING IN LOVE LIKE?" "Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." Posted at 8:10 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun30	Strange Sayings in Office - Part 5 Bill Belew June 30, 2006 Almost everyday at my lunch break I go to the Starbucks right down the street from my office, which is also about a hop, skip and a jump from the headquarter of ebay. I hence made several friends from ebay,... Continue Reading Posted at 6:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 21) Bill Belew June 30, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He has ever worn a cowboy hat to church. He has sunglasses that are mirrored on the inside. He thinks BMW are the call letters for a radio station.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:16 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Mr. Whipple of Charmin Bill Belew June 30, 2006 A spokesperson for Proctor & Gamble commented on the disruption of the free supply of Charmin toilet paper to Dick "Mr. Whipple" Wilson, who played the role for 25 years. P & G had promised a lifetime supply of toilet... Continue Reading Posted at 12:12 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Russian Vodka Saless Bill Belew June 30, 2006 Hutchinson, Minnesota would not sell Russian Vodka. The key word in that sentence is "not." The city attorney, Barry Anderson, commented on the end to the banning of Russian vodka. "It took six years, but the city of Hutchinson finally... Continue Reading Posted at 12:08 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Borland International CEO Philippe Kahn Bill Belew June 30, 2006 Philippe Kahn is CEO of Borland International. "It's healthy for people to be in contact with a wilderness where something can eat them." Does this include China? The Chinese will eat anything?... Continue Reading Posted at 12:03 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun29	Marriage Counselor Gets Advice from Kindergartners - Part 3 Bill Belew June 29, 2006 A marriage counselor was running out of ways to advise his patients so he decided to ask some young kids for their advice on how he should respond to frequent questions. He asked - "WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO... Continue Reading Posted at 8:07 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	A woman your age Bill Belew June 29, 2006 Nancy went on vacation for a few weeks. When she returned to her office, her co-worker Tom said, "Nancy, you seem to be getting a little bit stouter." "You old fool." she replied, "Don't you know you musn't ever... Continue Reading Posted at 6:29 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Bank of America or Wells Fargo Bill Belew June 29, 2006 It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "This iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note... Continue Reading Posted at 6:16 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Strange Sayings in Office - Part 4 Bill Belew June 29, 2006 Almost everyday at my lunch break I go to the Starbucks right down the street from my office, which is also about a hop, skip and a jump from the headquarter of ebay. I hence made several friends from... Continue Reading Posted at 6:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	American Tourister Resurrected the Ape Bill Belew June 29, 2006 David Koontz is the marketing vice president of American Tourister. He explained why they began usiing the "gorilla-attacking-suitcase ad" again. "Recognizing the great equity we had with the ape, it seemed logical to bring him back with his family to... Continue Reading Posted at 12:05 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun28	Treasury Secretary - Donald Regan Bill Belew June 28, 2006 Ex-treasury Secretary Donald. T. Regan was accused of "fathering" the savings and loan crisis during his tenure. He replied, "I want a blood test." There are lots of guys who want blood tests for lots of reasons...but this might be... Continue Reading Posted at 11:45 PM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Marriage Counselor Gets Advice from Kindergartners - Part 2 Bill Belew June 28, 2006 A marriage counselor was running out of ways to advise his patients so he decided to ask some young kids for their advice on how he should respond to frequent questions. He asked - HOW DO PEOPLE IN LOVE... Continue Reading Posted at 8:03 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Strange Sayings in Office - Part 3 Bill Belew June 28, 2006 Almost everyday at my lunch break I go to the Starbucks right down the street from my office, which is also about a hop, skip and a jump from the headquarter of ebay. I hence made several friends from ebay,... Continue Reading Posted at 6:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 20) Bill Belew June 28, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He gets an estimate from the barber before he gets his hair cut. He looks like Willie Nelson after he gets his hair cut. He owns more cowboy boots than sneakers.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:15 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Bill Gates, "King of Software" Bill Belew June 28, 2006 An administrative assistant asked Gates to hire help to handle his growing influx of calls and letters - He replied with "Who AM I, the Queen?" No, Bill...you are the King. Repeat after me...I am the King...I am the King....... Continue Reading Posted at 12:57 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun27	Marriage Counselor Gets Advice from Kindergartners - Part 1 Bill Belew June 27, 2006 A marriage counselor was running out of ways to advise his patients so he decided to ask some young kids for their advice on how he should respond to frequent questions. He asked - WHAT ARE MOST PEOPLE THINKING WHEN... Continue Reading Posted at 8:19 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Strange Sayings in office - Part 2 Bill Belew June 27, 2006 Almost everyday at my lunch break I go to the Starbucks right down the street from my office, which is also about a hop, skip and a jump from the headquarter of ebay. I hence made several friends from... Continue Reading Posted at 6:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 19) Bill Belew June 27, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He asks you to call him, "Dude." He has ever been fired from a construction job because of his appearance. He needs one more hole punched in his card before he gets a... Continue Reading Posted at 3:13 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Guess Designer Jeans Bill Belew June 27, 2006 Kurt Barnard of Barnard's Retail Marketing commented on a $211 million IPO by Guess, Inc. "Designer jeans are nice, but a lot of people feel they can cover their rear ends without going broke in the process." I guess he... Continue Reading Posted at 12:53 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun26	Kate Couric on How to Get the Story.... Bill Belew June 26, 2006 NBC's Kate Couric explained how she gets the story - "Basically, I try to be as charming and ingratiating as I can without making myself vomit." Well, it must have worked...because look where she is now. Nobody is laughing now.... Continue Reading Posted at 4:45 PM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Who's guilty? Bill Belew June 26, 2006 A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strongevidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense'sclosing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick: "Ladies and gentlemen... Continue Reading Posted at 6:36 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Strange Sayings in office - Part 1 Bill Belew June 26, 2006 Almost everyday at my lunch break I go to the Starbucks right down the street from my office, which is also about a hop, skip and a jump from the headquarter of ebay. I hence made several friends from ebay, and... Continue Reading Posted at 6:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 18) Bill Belew June 26, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He views the next family reunion as a great chance to meet a woman. His wife has a beer gut, and he thinks it's attractive. He has ever signed a petition to... Continue Reading Posted at 3:10 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun23	Mr. Toyota and Teddy Bill Belew June 23, 2006 Mrs Toyota loves Mr. Toyota, but there’s one thing that really bothers her: He always goes for a beer after work, returns home drunk, and snores so loud in bed. That’s not what really bothers her. What really... Continue Reading Posted at 6:14 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Are Ministers Cracking Up? Bill Belew June 23, 2006 Sometimes the written word is so much safer. The Minister told the Secretary to change the sign for his upcoming sermon to "Are Ministers Cracking Up?" Although puzzled, within a few minutes the large sign in front of the church announced for... Continue Reading Posted at 6:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 17) Bill Belew June 23, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... Red Man chewing tobacco sends him a Christmas card. He bought a VCR because wrestling comes on while he is at work. His dad walked to school with him because they're both in... Continue Reading Posted at 3:09 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	British Caledonian Airways - Adam Thompson Bill Belew June 23, 2006 This guy is the ex-chairman of the British Caledonian Airways - "Recession is when you tighten your belt. Depression is when you have no belt to tighten. When you have lost your trousers, you are in the airline business." Cheer... Continue Reading Posted at 12:40 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun22	Mr. Toyota and his flowers Bill Belew June 22, 2006 Mr. Toyota is opening a new business, and one of his friends wants to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrives at the new business site and Mr. Toyota reads the card, "Rest in Peace". Mr. Toyota is... Continue Reading Posted at 8:03 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	How to get a case of Arturo Fuente Opus X - Free Bill Belew June 22, 2006 A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of Arturo Fuente Opus X, rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against ... get this ... fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having... Continue Reading Posted at 6:47 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 16) Bill Belew June 22, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He sees no need to stop at a rest stop because he has an empty milk jug in the car. His dog can't watch him eat without gagging. He ever had to scratch his... Continue Reading Posted at 3:07 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	A Nevada Whorehouse Bill Belew June 22, 2006 A Lipper Analytical Securities, analyst sized up an IPO of Nevada's Mustang Ranch - "I think they'll be able to sell the stocks. For one reason or another, there are plenty of men around who would like to own shares... Continue Reading Posted at 12:37 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun21	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 8 Bill Belew June 21, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 8:17 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Lenovo Tapes (part 3) Bill Belew June 21, 2006 Ever since Lenovo bought IBM's PC division it seems Lenovo has been going downhill. Not any more. Look at what Lenovo can do now. Lenovo/Kent... Continue Reading Posted at 3:49 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 15) Bill Belew June 21, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He owes the taxidermist more than his annual income. He has ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle. Jack Daniels is on his list of most admired people.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:06 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan Bill Belew June 21, 2006 Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan was about as clear on the economy as any other economist when he said - "I guess I should warn you, if I turn out to be particulary clear, you've probably misunderstood what I've said." And... Continue Reading Posted at 12:20 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun20	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 7 Bill Belew June 20, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 8:13 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Lenovo Tapes (part 2) Bill Belew June 20, 2006 Ever since Lenovo bought IBM's PC division it seems Lenovo has been going downhill. Not any more. Look at what Lenovo can do now. Lenovo/Wayne ... Continue Reading Posted at 4:47 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 14) Bill Belew June 20, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He has ever spray-painted his girlfriend's name on an overpass. Someone asks to see his ID, and he shows them his belt buckle. His dog and his wallet are both on a chain.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:04 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Bankrupt Twice in 10 Years Bill Belew June 20, 2006 Oilman, Jack Stanley explained what it takes to go bankrupt twice in 10 years. "It wasn't easy. I had to work at it." And THAT's what hard work is guaranteed to do for you.... Continue Reading Posted at 12:19 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun19	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 6 Bill Belew June 19, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 6:09 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	The Lenovo Tapes Bill Belew June 19, 2006 Ever since Lenovo bought IBM's PC division it seems Lenovo has been going downhill. Not any more. Look at what Lenovo can do now. Lenovo/Skywalker ... Continue Reading Posted at 4:39 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 13) Bill Belew June 19, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... She likes the velvet picture of Elvis that someone in a van sold her beside the highway better than anything she saw at an art show or museum. He owns more than three... Continue Reading Posted at 3:02 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Undertaker on Coffins Bill Belew June 19, 2006 An undertaker was trying to sell his firm's assembly instructions for a build-it-yourself coffin - the price $9.95. "I think grandpa would look a heck of a lot better in a box made by the grandchildren than in one from... Continue Reading Posted at 12:14 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun16	白衣黑衣 Bill Belew June 16, 2006 这个游戏有很多玩法，最简单的一种是数出白衣球员共传了几次球。好，现在开始：白衣黑衣你的结果是：12？13？14？15？还是其它？再数一次，看你的结果是否与上次一致，是否发现什么不同寻常的地方？如果没有，则再数一次，如果还没发现异常，那你是不可救药了，继续进行下一步：下面，数数黑衣球员的传球次数，发现什么了吗？哈，别怪我没警告你......... Continue Reading Posted at 12:37 PM \| Permalink \| Comments
	The Genie and the sales men from Tsingtao Beer Bill Belew June 16, 2006 Two sales men from Tsingtao Beer were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface. After... Continue Reading Posted at 8:21 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 5 Bill Belew June 16, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 8:06 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 12) Bill Belew June 16, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... She still has an 8-track tape player in her car or house. Her idea of safe sex doesn't include anyone else. He has ever bar-be-qued hamburgers at the drive-in theater.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:01 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	SEC Commissioner on Corporate Audit Committees Bill Belew June 16, 2006 When Joseph Grundfest retired from the Securities & Exchange Commission, he commented on why corporate audit committees fail - "The three C's explain it all. Their members are either comatose, co-opted or corrupt." As Enron execs...they'll verify this statement as not... Continue Reading Posted at 12:10 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun15	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 4 Bill Belew June 15, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 1:37 PM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 11) Bill Belew June 15, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... She considers her license plate "personalized" because her father made it. After making love, he has to ask his date to roll down the window. She has a picture of Willie Nelson... Continue Reading Posted at 3:59 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	A Man Applied for an Engineering Position Bill Belew June 15, 2006 An American, we'll call Murphy, applied for an engineering position at a firm based in Silicon Valley. A Chinese man, we'll call Wang, applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test... Continue Reading Posted at 2:56 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	France's Health Minister on Condoms Bill Belew June 15, 2006 France's health minister, Philippe Douste-Blazy, heard that in 1992 the Germans had used 170 million condoms, the Brits had used 160 million but the Frenc were a distant third at only 100 million. "We can catch up, but we must... Continue Reading Posted at 12:59 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun14	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 3 Bill Belew June 14, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 6:33 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	East Coast/West Coast Differences (part 11) Bill Belew June 14, 2006 A man took a trip from San Francisco to New York. When he found himself in a business meeting he realized he needed a translator.... Following are some differences in meaning between the East Coast and West Coast terms. West... Continue Reading Posted at 4:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 10) Bill Belew June 14, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He has a "Hefty bag" for a passenger side window on his car. Her house doesn't have any curtains- but her truck does. Her front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:57 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Christie's on Vincent van Gogh Bill Belew June 14, 2006 Charles Allsopp worked as an auctioneer for Christie's. A van Gogh, whose "Sunflowers" was originally thought to be worthless went for $39.9million said - "He was a strange man. He wasn't very good at marketing it." If I had $39.9... Continue Reading Posted at 12:53 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun13	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 2 Bill Belew June 13, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 6:26 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	East Coast/West Coast Differences (part 10) Bill Belew June 13, 2006 A man took a trip from San Francisco to New York . When he found himself in a business meeting he realized he needed a translator.... Following are some differences in meaning between the East Coast and West Coast terms.... Continue Reading Posted at 4:52 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 9) Bill Belew June 13, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He has a rag for a gas cap. He had a toothpick in his mouth when he had his wedding pictures taken. His lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:56 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Harvard Business School on Entrepreneurship Bill Belew June 13, 2006 Abraham Zaleznik is, maybe was, a Harvard Business School professor - "I think if we want to understand the entrepreneur, we should look at the juvenile delinquent." That is, perhaps, where most of the CEO's today learned their tricks, I... Continue Reading Posted at 12:50 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun12	George Bush Under Attack by Immigrants Bill Belew June 12, 2006 Follow this link to a short (11sec) video clipping that is evidence that George Bush was at risk of being attacked by immigrants to the US. George Bush Gets Attacked by Illegal Immigrants During a Speech at the Oval Office I... Continue Reading Posted at 4:23 PM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 1 Bill Belew June 12, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its job description: CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD: ... Continue Reading Posted at 8:09 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	East Coast/West Coast Differences (part 9) Bill Belew June 12, 2006 A man took a trip from San Francisco to New York. When he found himself in a business meeting he realized he needed a translator.... Following are some differences in meaning between the East Coast and West Coast terms. West... Continue Reading Posted at 4:48 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 8) Bill Belew June 12, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... His father encourages him to quit school when Larry announces an opening in the lube rack. He thinks Volvo is a part of the female anatomy. He thinks that the styrofoam cooler is the... Continue Reading Posted at 3:54 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Ted Turner on Himself Bill Belew June 12, 2006 Ted Turner once had this to say about himself.... "A full moon blanks out all the stars around it." So, the stars took away his company and the moon went to bed.... Continue Reading Posted at 12:46 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun 9	East Coast/West Coast Differences (part 8) Bill Belew June 9, 2006 A man took a trip from San Francisco to New York. When he found himself in a business meeting he realized he needed a translator.... Following are some differences in meaning between the East Coast and West Coast terms.... Continue Reading Posted at 4:42 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 7) Bill Belew June 9, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He thinks beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups. He thinks Campho-phenique is a miracle drug. He has more than two brothers named Bubba and Junior.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:53 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Are You a Professional (Last Question) Bill Belew June 9, 2006 The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a "professional." Here is the last question. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. 4. There is a river... Continue Reading Posted at 3:50 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	New York Hairdresser in Dallas Bill Belew June 9, 2006 A New York hairdresser was losing money in Dallas. He tried desperately to get his new Dallas salon to convince women in Dallas to give up the big blond hair look - "Money is not an issue when you believe... Continue Reading Posted at 12:44 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun 8	East Coast/West Coast Differences (part 7) Bill Belew June 8, 2006 A man took a trip from San Francisco to New York . When he found himself in a business meeting he realized he needed a translator.... Following are some differences in meaning between the East Coast and West Coast terms.... Continue Reading Posted at 4:21 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 6) Bill Belew June 8, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... His mother keeps a spit-cup on the ironing board. She's ever worn a tube top to a wedding. The most common phrase you hear at her family reunion is: "What are you looking... Continue Reading Posted at 3:51 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Are you a Professional? (part 3)

Jun30	Marriage Counselor Gets Advice from Kindergartners - Part 4 Bill Belew June 30, 2006 Know More: Ask the Experts 2.0, Ask the Experts A marriage counselor was running out of ways to advise his patients so he decided to ask some young kids for their advice on how he should respond to frequent questions. He asked - "WHAT is FALLING IN LOVE LIKE?" "Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." Posted at 8:10 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun30	Strange Sayings in Office - Part 5 Bill Belew June 30, 2006 Almost everyday at my lunch break I go to the Starbucks right down the street from my office, which is also about a hop, skip and a jump from the headquarter of ebay. I hence made several friends from ebay,... Continue Reading Posted at 6:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 21) Bill Belew June 30, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He has ever worn a cowboy hat to church. He has sunglasses that are mirrored on the inside. He thinks BMW are the call letters for a radio station.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:16 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Mr. Whipple of Charmin Bill Belew June 30, 2006 A spokesperson for Proctor & Gamble commented on the disruption of the free supply of Charmin toilet paper to Dick "Mr. Whipple" Wilson, who played the role for 25 years. P & G had promised a lifetime supply of toilet... Continue Reading Posted at 12:12 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Russian Vodka Saless Bill Belew June 30, 2006 Hutchinson, Minnesota would not sell Russian Vodka. The key word in that sentence is "not." The city attorney, Barry Anderson, commented on the end to the banning of Russian vodka. "It took six years, but the city of Hutchinson finally... Continue Reading Posted at 12:08 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Borland International CEO Philippe Kahn Bill Belew June 30, 2006 Philippe Kahn is CEO of Borland International. "It's healthy for people to be in contact with a wilderness where something can eat them." Does this include China? The Chinese will eat anything?... Continue Reading Posted at 12:03 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun29	Marriage Counselor Gets Advice from Kindergartners - Part 3 Bill Belew June 29, 2006 A marriage counselor was running out of ways to advise his patients so he decided to ask some young kids for their advice on how he should respond to frequent questions. He asked - "WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO... Continue Reading Posted at 8:07 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	A woman your age Bill Belew June 29, 2006 Nancy went on vacation for a few weeks. When she returned to her office, her co-worker Tom said, "Nancy, you seem to be getting a little bit stouter." "You old fool." she replied, "Don't you know you musn't ever... Continue Reading Posted at 6:29 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Bank of America or Wells Fargo Bill Belew June 29, 2006 It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "This iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note... Continue Reading Posted at 6:16 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Strange Sayings in Office - Part 4 Bill Belew June 29, 2006 Almost everyday at my lunch break I go to the Starbucks right down the street from my office, which is also about a hop, skip and a jump from the headquarter of ebay. I hence made several friends from... Continue Reading Posted at 6:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	American Tourister Resurrected the Ape Bill Belew June 29, 2006 David Koontz is the marketing vice president of American Tourister. He explained why they began usiing the "gorilla-attacking-suitcase ad" again. "Recognizing the great equity we had with the ape, it seemed logical to bring him back with his family to... Continue Reading Posted at 12:05 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun28	Treasury Secretary - Donald Regan Bill Belew June 28, 2006 Ex-treasury Secretary Donald. T. Regan was accused of "fathering" the savings and loan crisis during his tenure. He replied, "I want a blood test." There are lots of guys who want blood tests for lots of reasons...but this might be... Continue Reading Posted at 11:45 PM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Marriage Counselor Gets Advice from Kindergartners - Part 2 Bill Belew June 28, 2006 A marriage counselor was running out of ways to advise his patients so he decided to ask some young kids for their advice on how he should respond to frequent questions. He asked - HOW DO PEOPLE IN LOVE... Continue Reading Posted at 8:03 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Strange Sayings in Office - Part 3 Bill Belew June 28, 2006 Almost everyday at my lunch break I go to the Starbucks right down the street from my office, which is also about a hop, skip and a jump from the headquarter of ebay. I hence made several friends from ebay,... Continue Reading Posted at 6:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 20) Bill Belew June 28, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He gets an estimate from the barber before he gets his hair cut. He looks like Willie Nelson after he gets his hair cut. He owns more cowboy boots than sneakers.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:15 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Bill Gates, "King of Software" Bill Belew June 28, 2006 An administrative assistant asked Gates to hire help to handle his growing influx of calls and letters - He replied with "Who AM I, the Queen?" No, Bill...you are the King. Repeat after me...I am the King...I am the King....... Continue Reading Posted at 12:57 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun27	Marriage Counselor Gets Advice from Kindergartners - Part 1 Bill Belew June 27, 2006 A marriage counselor was running out of ways to advise his patients so he decided to ask some young kids for their advice on how he should respond to frequent questions. He asked - WHAT ARE MOST PEOPLE THINKING WHEN... Continue Reading Posted at 8:19 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Strange Sayings in office - Part 2 Bill Belew June 27, 2006 Almost everyday at my lunch break I go to the Starbucks right down the street from my office, which is also about a hop, skip and a jump from the headquarter of ebay. I hence made several friends from... Continue Reading Posted at 6:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 19) Bill Belew June 27, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He asks you to call him, "Dude." He has ever been fired from a construction job because of his appearance. He needs one more hole punched in his card before he gets a... Continue Reading Posted at 3:13 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Guess Designer Jeans Bill Belew June 27, 2006 Kurt Barnard of Barnard's Retail Marketing commented on a $211 million IPO by Guess, Inc. "Designer jeans are nice, but a lot of people feel they can cover their rear ends without going broke in the process." I guess he... Continue Reading Posted at 12:53 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun26	Kate Couric on How to Get the Story.... Bill Belew June 26, 2006 NBC's Kate Couric explained how she gets the story - "Basically, I try to be as charming and ingratiating as I can without making myself vomit." Well, it must have worked...because look where she is now. Nobody is laughing now.... Continue Reading Posted at 4:45 PM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Who's guilty? Bill Belew June 26, 2006 A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strongevidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense'sclosing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick: "Ladies and gentlemen... Continue Reading Posted at 6:36 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Strange Sayings in office - Part 1 Bill Belew June 26, 2006 Almost everyday at my lunch break I go to the Starbucks right down the street from my office, which is also about a hop, skip and a jump from the headquarter of ebay. I hence made several friends from ebay, and... Continue Reading Posted at 6:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 18) Bill Belew June 26, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He views the next family reunion as a great chance to meet a woman. His wife has a beer gut, and he thinks it's attractive. He has ever signed a petition to... Continue Reading Posted at 3:10 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun23	Mr. Toyota and Teddy Bill Belew June 23, 2006 Mrs Toyota loves Mr. Toyota, but there’s one thing that really bothers her: He always goes for a beer after work, returns home drunk, and snores so loud in bed. That’s not what really bothers her. What really... Continue Reading Posted at 6:14 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Are Ministers Cracking Up? Bill Belew June 23, 2006 Sometimes the written word is so much safer. The Minister told the Secretary to change the sign for his upcoming sermon to "Are Ministers Cracking Up?" Although puzzled, within a few minutes the large sign in front of the church announced for... Continue Reading Posted at 6:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 17) Bill Belew June 23, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... Red Man chewing tobacco sends him a Christmas card. He bought a VCR because wrestling comes on while he is at work. His dad walked to school with him because they're both in... Continue Reading Posted at 3:09 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	British Caledonian Airways - Adam Thompson Bill Belew June 23, 2006 This guy is the ex-chairman of the British Caledonian Airways - "Recession is when you tighten your belt. Depression is when you have no belt to tighten. When you have lost your trousers, you are in the airline business." Cheer... Continue Reading Posted at 12:40 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun22	Mr. Toyota and his flowers Bill Belew June 22, 2006 Mr. Toyota is opening a new business, and one of his friends wants to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrives at the new business site and Mr. Toyota reads the card, "Rest in Peace". Mr. Toyota is... Continue Reading Posted at 8:03 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	How to get a case of Arturo Fuente Opus X - Free Bill Belew June 22, 2006 A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of Arturo Fuente Opus X, rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against ... get this ... fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having... Continue Reading Posted at 6:47 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 16) Bill Belew June 22, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He sees no need to stop at a rest stop because he has an empty milk jug in the car. His dog can't watch him eat without gagging. He ever had to scratch his... Continue Reading Posted at 3:07 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	A Nevada Whorehouse Bill Belew June 22, 2006 A Lipper Analytical Securities, analyst sized up an IPO of Nevada's Mustang Ranch - "I think they'll be able to sell the stocks. For one reason or another, there are plenty of men around who would like to own shares... Continue Reading Posted at 12:37 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun21	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 8 Bill Belew June 21, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 8:17 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Lenovo Tapes (part 3) Bill Belew June 21, 2006 Ever since Lenovo bought IBM's PC division it seems Lenovo has been going downhill. Not any more. Look at what Lenovo can do now. Lenovo/Kent... Continue Reading Posted at 3:49 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 15) Bill Belew June 21, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He owes the taxidermist more than his annual income. He has ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle. Jack Daniels is on his list of most admired people.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:06 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan Bill Belew June 21, 2006 Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan was about as clear on the economy as any other economist when he said - "I guess I should warn you, if I turn out to be particulary clear, you've probably misunderstood what I've said." And... Continue Reading Posted at 12:20 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun20	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 7 Bill Belew June 20, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 8:13 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Lenovo Tapes (part 2) Bill Belew June 20, 2006 Ever since Lenovo bought IBM's PC division it seems Lenovo has been going downhill. Not any more. Look at what Lenovo can do now. Lenovo/Wayne ... Continue Reading Posted at 4:47 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 14) Bill Belew June 20, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He has ever spray-painted his girlfriend's name on an overpass. Someone asks to see his ID, and he shows them his belt buckle. His dog and his wallet are both on a chain.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:04 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Bankrupt Twice in 10 Years Bill Belew June 20, 2006 Oilman, Jack Stanley explained what it takes to go bankrupt twice in 10 years. "It wasn't easy. I had to work at it." And THAT's what hard work is guaranteed to do for you.... Continue Reading Posted at 12:19 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun19	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 6 Bill Belew June 19, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 6:09 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	The Lenovo Tapes Bill Belew June 19, 2006 Ever since Lenovo bought IBM's PC division it seems Lenovo has been going downhill. Not any more. Look at what Lenovo can do now. Lenovo/Skywalker ... Continue Reading Posted at 4:39 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 13) Bill Belew June 19, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... She likes the velvet picture of Elvis that someone in a van sold her beside the highway better than anything she saw at an art show or museum. He owns more than three... Continue Reading Posted at 3:02 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Undertaker on Coffins Bill Belew June 19, 2006 An undertaker was trying to sell his firm's assembly instructions for a build-it-yourself coffin - the price $9.95. "I think grandpa would look a heck of a lot better in a box made by the grandchildren than in one from... Continue Reading Posted at 12:14 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun16	白衣黑衣 Bill Belew June 16, 2006 这个游戏有很多玩法，最简单的一种是数出白衣球员共传了几次球。好，现在开始：白衣黑衣你的结果是：12？13？14？15？还是其它？再数一次，看你的结果是否与上次一致，是否发现什么不同寻常的地方？如果没有，则再数一次，如果还没发现异常，那你是不可救药了，继续进行下一步：下面，数数黑衣球员的传球次数，发现什么了吗？哈，别怪我没警告你......... Continue Reading Posted at 12:37 PM \| Permalink \| Comments
	The Genie and the sales men from Tsingtao Beer Bill Belew June 16, 2006 Two sales men from Tsingtao Beer were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface. After... Continue Reading Posted at 8:21 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 5 Bill Belew June 16, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 8:06 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 12) Bill Belew June 16, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... She still has an 8-track tape player in her car or house. Her idea of safe sex doesn't include anyone else. He has ever bar-be-qued hamburgers at the drive-in theater.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:01 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	SEC Commissioner on Corporate Audit Committees Bill Belew June 16, 2006 When Joseph Grundfest retired from the Securities & Exchange Commission, he commented on why corporate audit committees fail - "The three C's explain it all. Their members are either comatose, co-opted or corrupt." As Enron execs...they'll verify this statement as not... Continue Reading Posted at 12:10 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun15	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 4 Bill Belew June 15, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 1:37 PM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 11) Bill Belew June 15, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... She considers her license plate "personalized" because her father made it. After making love, he has to ask his date to roll down the window. She has a picture of Willie Nelson... Continue Reading Posted at 3:59 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	A Man Applied for an Engineering Position Bill Belew June 15, 2006 An American, we'll call Murphy, applied for an engineering position at a firm based in Silicon Valley. A Chinese man, we'll call Wang, applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test... Continue Reading Posted at 2:56 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	France's Health Minister on Condoms Bill Belew June 15, 2006 France's health minister, Philippe Douste-Blazy, heard that in 1992 the Germans had used 170 million condoms, the Brits had used 160 million but the Frenc were a distant third at only 100 million. "We can catch up, but we must... Continue Reading Posted at 12:59 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun14	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 3 Bill Belew June 14, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 6:33 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	East Coast/West Coast Differences (part 11) Bill Belew June 14, 2006 A man took a trip from San Francisco to New York. When he found himself in a business meeting he realized he needed a translator.... Following are some differences in meaning between the East Coast and West Coast terms. West... Continue Reading Posted at 4:00 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 10) Bill Belew June 14, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He has a "Hefty bag" for a passenger side window on his car. Her house doesn't have any curtains- but her truck does. Her front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:57 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Christie's on Vincent van Gogh Bill Belew June 14, 2006 Charles Allsopp worked as an auctioneer for Christie's. A van Gogh, whose "Sunflowers" was originally thought to be worthless went for $39.9million said - "He was a strange man. He wasn't very good at marketing it." If I had $39.9... Continue Reading Posted at 12:53 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun13	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 2 Bill Belew June 13, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its... Continue Reading Posted at 6:26 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	East Coast/West Coast Differences (part 10) Bill Belew June 13, 2006 A man took a trip from San Francisco to New York . When he found himself in a business meeting he realized he needed a translator.... Following are some differences in meaning between the East Coast and West Coast terms.... Continue Reading Posted at 4:52 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 9) Bill Belew June 13, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He has a rag for a gas cap. He had a toothpick in his mouth when he had his wedding pictures taken. His lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:56 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Harvard Business School on Entrepreneurship Bill Belew June 13, 2006 Abraham Zaleznik is, maybe was, a Harvard Business School professor - "I think if we want to understand the entrepreneur, we should look at the juvenile delinquent." That is, perhaps, where most of the CEO's today learned their tricks, I... Continue Reading Posted at 12:50 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun12	George Bush Under Attack by Immigrants Bill Belew June 12, 2006 Follow this link to a short (11sec) video clipping that is evidence that George Bush was at risk of being attacked by immigrants to the US. George Bush Gets Attacked by Illegal Immigrants During a Speech at the Oval Office I... Continue Reading Posted at 4:23 PM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Big Company's Job Descriptions - Part 1 Bill Belew June 12, 2006 The other day I picked up a newspaper at Starbucks, about a hop, skip and a jump from ebay and also right down the street from where I live. In the classified section, I found this opening position with its job description: CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD: ... Continue Reading Posted at 8:09 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	East Coast/West Coast Differences (part 9) Bill Belew June 12, 2006 A man took a trip from San Francisco to New York. When he found himself in a business meeting he realized he needed a translator.... Following are some differences in meaning between the East Coast and West Coast terms. West... Continue Reading Posted at 4:48 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 8) Bill Belew June 12, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... His father encourages him to quit school when Larry announces an opening in the lube rack. He thinks Volvo is a part of the female anatomy. He thinks that the styrofoam cooler is the... Continue Reading Posted at 3:54 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Ted Turner on Himself Bill Belew June 12, 2006 Ted Turner once had this to say about himself.... "A full moon blanks out all the stars around it." So, the stars took away his company and the moon went to bed.... Continue Reading Posted at 12:46 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun 9	East Coast/West Coast Differences (part 8) Bill Belew June 9, 2006 A man took a trip from San Francisco to New York. When he found himself in a business meeting he realized he needed a translator.... Following are some differences in meaning between the East Coast and West Coast terms.... Continue Reading Posted at 4:42 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 7) Bill Belew June 9, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... He thinks beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups. He thinks Campho-phenique is a miracle drug. He has more than two brothers named Bubba and Junior.... Continue Reading Posted at 3:53 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Are You a Professional (Last Question) Bill Belew June 9, 2006 The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a "professional." Here is the last question. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. 4. There is a river... Continue Reading Posted at 3:50 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	New York Hairdresser in Dallas Bill Belew June 9, 2006 A New York hairdresser was losing money in Dallas. He tried desperately to get his new Dallas salon to convince women in Dallas to give up the big blond hair look - "Money is not an issue when you believe... Continue Reading Posted at 12:44 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
Jun 8	East Coast/West Coast Differences (part 7) Bill Belew June 8, 2006 A man took a trip from San Francisco to New York . When he found himself in a business meeting he realized he needed a translator.... Following are some differences in meaning between the East Coast and West Coast terms.... Continue Reading Posted at 4:21 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	You Know Your Boss is a Redneck if....(part 6) Bill Belew June 8, 2006 You know your boss is a redneck if... His mother keeps a spit-cup on the ironing board. She's ever worn a tube top to a wedding. The most common phrase you hear at her family reunion is: "What are you looking... Continue Reading Posted at 3:51 AM \| Permalink \| Comments
	Are you a Professional? (part 3)

Business humor and jokes, including humorous stories, experiences, and articles