Let's face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in ggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as h*ll one day and cold as h*ll another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Now I know why I flunked my English. It's not my fault -- the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going.
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Next to the state laws blogs, I find this to be the most hysterical joke in here. English language (not English classes) I have always thought was a joke. The comedian Gallagher does a funny bit about syllables in words and how they don't match. Comb,tomb. It's hard to explain, you'd have to see it.
Anyways, words are just symbols to convey a meaning. Belew illustrated that when explaining a Japanese symbol and what words went into it. (Noah's Ark was the story behind that.)
As I was saying, words are just symbols used to convey a deeper meaning. Most of the time, I find that woirds are inadequate in describing things that have to be felt or experienced for ones self. It is hard to explain what desperation or love or gratitude is without it being felt before.
I really enjoyed the logic in this blog. It is truly ridiculous, how much we take for granted. Why, if it's so freaking confusing, is English the "universal" language?
Like Bill has said, we'd probably all be better off speaking Japanese.
Posted by: michael denning | August 7, 2006 9:13 AM | Permalink to Comment