There is a big grocery store chain in the Chicago area called Dominick's. It was originally called Dominick & Arty's, because it was started by two brothers named Dominick and Arty.
Well, early on in the partnership, Arty and Dominick had a big falling out which resulted in Dominick buying Arty out and Arty moving to California.
Well, Dominick prospered to the point where he was very wealthy and, like many wealthy men, he decided that he wanted to be free to do as he pleased.
He knew, however, that if he divorced his wife, she would get half of everything he had, so he decided to have her bumped off.
Well, he could think of nobody better suited to the job than his brother Arty, so one night he called Arty up and asked him if he would do the job for $100,000. Arty replied, "Dominick, I know we've had our differences, but I can understand the situation you are in. We are brothers and you don't even have to pay me. I'll do it for free."
Dominick said, "Well, I want to pay you something for it." to which Arty replied, "OK, just give me a dollar."
So they set it all up. One night Dominick had a good alibi and was away from the house. Arty flew in from California and went over to Dominick's house. He quietly slipped into the house because Dominick had given him the combination to the alarm. Once inside, he ran across the butler. Well, Arty was a big guy and could just be an animal. He grabbed the butler with his hands and choked him until he was dead. He started up the stairs where he encountered the maid. Arty, animal with his hands, grabbed her and choked her to death. He went upstairs, found Dominick's wife in bed, grabbed her and choked her to death also.
Well a neighbor had heard some commotion and called the police. They arrived just as Arty was leaving the house and arrested him.
Do you know what the headlines in the paper the next day were? Arty chokes three for a dollar at Dominick's.
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