Five Maxims of Making Excuses
1) The feebleness or banality of an excuse should never be a deterrent to its use.
2) Always put the blame on something that can't defend itself. Children, pets, inanimate objects, and relatives living in foreign countries make perfect scapegoats.
3) Whine convincingly. 4) Certain ailments work better than others as excuses. No doctor or machine in the world can prove that you don't have that headache.
5) Try to remember that nature allotted each of us only two grandmothers to attend funerals for.
And now, some excuses:
- The alarm didn't go off.
- I couldn't find a parking space.
- The Devil made me do it.
- Drugs made me do it.
- Everybody else does it.
- That's not my department.
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